yes, i know it has been awhile. but i have something i need to say,
so please ignore these next few lines.

dear you,
things are changing so fast, i'm sorry i must hold on. i'm sorry
it will never be the way it should. i'm sorry i take all the blame.
it's just the way i am. i'm sorry you are acting different. i'm sorry
you said something you never meant, and never will. you're all i
know, i care for you so much. believe in me please. don't write
me off just yet. i will miss you dearly, but i think it's time we both grow up. i
think we need to be realistic, even though i know that is not what
i want to be. all i want is for things to go back to how they used
to be. but, i guess it's too late now. maybe someday it will happen
again. but like i said, fate is cruel. and i have never been one that
fate has gotten along well with. i'm sorry for that too. i'm sorry this
note is full of apologies. i know you hate it when i do that. i'll stop,
i'll leave you alone, i'll grow up, if that's what you want me to do. but
the other day you told me it was forever, the time just wasn't right.
were you serious? were you lying? it's hard to tell. i'm sorry i am
holding on so tight, but i'm just not good with goodbyes. but, now i
will be done. thanks for not reading this. i appreciate it,

"if fate means you to lose, give him a good fight anyways."
-william mcphee